Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
