God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
