and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Terrible idea I love it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
dude. I can hear the air.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
