Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.

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(904): View more from Florida

how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh

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(760): View more from California

She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

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(716): View more from New York

My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.

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(407): View more from Florida

someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths

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(+27): View more from South Africa

My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.

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