we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize