I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
