Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
