Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
