I smell stomach acid.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize