I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
