Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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