so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
