i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
