why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize