i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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