my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
