The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
