what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She announced her abortion via fbk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i dont even know how to be here
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
