Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
