You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
