Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
