Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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