Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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