stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
