no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we should paint friendship bongs
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
