Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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