It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I deserve this hangover.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize