I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
