this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
