you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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