windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
