this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
