You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
