we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
