I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize