Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
