My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
