I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize