no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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