Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
