32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
