U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
