forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
