So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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