Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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