For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
