Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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