He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
