i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
