My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
