either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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