you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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