Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
