So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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