so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
