She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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