I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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