Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
