ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
