who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
